Diplomacy: Managing relationships

Sour Deals: What to do when deals end badly?

We all know that feeling of knowing when the honeymoon phase is over. In the beginning the relationship, whether business or personal, was copacetic. However, after time goes by, you start to feel like you can barely stand the person. In some cases, you may ultimately get to the point where it’s affecting you in ways that could be detrimental to your life outside that relationship. For example, the Employment Rights Online podcast says that toxic relationships can lead to PTSD and avoidance anxiety symptoms. You think you are just taking the long way home or going out to take the trash to sneak in a quick smoke, which is 100% your prerogative if that’s what you are actually doing. Wait, you are actually doing it, but subconsciously you are doing something else. Subconsciously, you are avoiding someone.

The best thing you can do in this instance is have some gratitude. You can start by listing any good thing that has come from this agreement/ partnership gone bad. Maybe that person has certain idiosyncrasies that over time became unbearable, but you still came out a better person on the other end. People get divorced and become friends. Perhaps you dealt with a living situation where you compromised your comfort to lower your rent expense. Yeah, it might have sucked to deal with all that comes with a sour deal, but if you left that situation for a better one, then it was part of the path in your journey.

Dealing with People

One of the most profound thing you will realize as you mature (notice I didn’t say as you get older, there is a reason for that) you start to realize just how self-centered the world can be. None of us are innocent when it comes to this. We all have our own bit of selfishness, no matter how small. For me, it’s my time. I’m selfish with it. Please don’t waste it, I wouldn’t. For you, it could “Hey, I want to go 120 miles (ca. 193 km) per how on the highway with 70 mile (ca. 113 km) speeding limits and endanger the lives of everyone I drive by today. Also, I’m going to think that I’m actually a good driver, when in reality everyone driving around is actually compensating for my lack of driving experience and judgement.” That is selfish. When you hit somebody at 150 miles per hour (ca. 241 km/h) (like this story) it is no accident. The person you was doing the right thing, in fact, the diplomatic thing, which was to obey the speed limit.

The key takeaway is it’sits only okay to be selfish when it only affects you. As soon as you involve another person’s feelings with your personal decision-making, you have officially crossed the line. Be a diplomat when it comes to managing your mind and the people you deal with on a daily basis. Defensive driving is simply an example of that. Just because I am not in the same car as doesn’t mean your driving won’t impact me. Likewise, your behavior in a public atmosphere may very well be within your right, but the minute you cross that line you’ve gone too far. Like the guy who was messing with Mike Tyson on the plane.

Don’t be that Guy: Don’t the jerk that ruins it for everyone.

I’m not going to hold you too long on this. I just wanted to begin a conversation about diplomacy. Let’s master our relations to improve the condition of the world around us. Don’t be a hater. Don’t be that guy. Don’t be a Karen. Just don’t. We have plenty of them out there. We need more people being conscious of the decisions they make and how they affect others. In a certain, we are all diplomats with great power if we choose to use it.

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